Not sure if your relationship is a go or not? How do you know if your deal breaker checklist is too long—or too short? And should you have a deal breaker checklist at all? The answer is: Yes, you should have this kind of checklist. The issue is not whether you should have one but rather what’s on that list. Your checklist should have your emotional needs statements. You can have several emotional needs. The goal is to know you. Here are … [Read more...]
Are You Being Too Picky About Relationship Deal Breakers? Or Not Picky Enough!?
December 16, 2015 By
How to Fix Pre-Mature Sex Regret
October 14, 2015 By
So you like someone—or at least are very attracted to him or her—and boom! You have sex. It could even be great sex, but then the next day or the next, you experience uncertainty and even anxiety about your having sex so soon. (And, yes, men do experience this reaction, too!) What do you do? How do you deal with your feelings? Should you call the person? But what do you say? Or perhaps it’s best just to move on. My clients and research … [Read more...]
How to Fix a Bad First Impression
August 12, 2015 By
If you’ve messed up the first date, you are not alone. Read these three true stories from my clients. “Alyssa” agreed to meet Allen in person after ten days of emails, text messages and phone calls. She was really looking forward to meeting someone who seemed good for her. The problem was that shortly before she met Allen for coffee Alyssa had a huge fight with her mother. Her mother frequently mentioned that Alyssa’s younger sister just … [Read more...]
4 Most Powerful Dating Questions to Ask Yourself
July 11, 2015 By
You’ve read the dating articles. You feel armed with enough of the “right” questions to ask so you’ll never get fooled again. You know to ask about their values, recent breakup, favorite music and movies, where they live, what they do for a living and whether they like animals and their family. Phew! You tell yourself that you are on solid footing. But, oops—don’t relax just yet. My five years of research with thousands of women showed … [Read more...]
What Your Marriage Proposal Could Tell You About Your Relationship
May 15, 2015 By
The way your partner proposed to you might allow you to see into your future with this person. Good card players can detect “tells”—those unconscious behaviors that give away information about a player’s hand. When my clients described their feelings of disappointments or exhilaration about their proposal, a warning light went off in my head. A few years later, when these same couples came to see me for counseling, I realized the proposal … [Read more...]
