How to Begin Expressing Your Romantic Feelings for Your Best Friend

One of the common plot lines of romantic comedies involves a relationship that has to change from a best of friends into a romantic couple. The standard story elements are that one person has more intimate feelings for the other person. Or, each person doesn’t really know how she or he feels for the other until the last minute. We love these relationships because, well, so many of us identify with them. So, just what should you do if you … [Read more...]

How to Fix Pre-Mature Sex Regret

So you like someone—or at least are very attracted to him or her—and boom! You have sex. It could even be great sex, but then the next day or the next, you experience uncertainty and even anxiety about your having sex so soon. (And, yes, men do experience this reaction, too!) What do you do? How do you deal with your feelings? Should you call the person? But what do you say?  Or perhaps it’s best just to move on. My clients and research … [Read more...]

Recipe for Falling in Love at First Sight With the Partner

Is “falling in love at first sight” real? And can it be lasting? My answer is yes to both. True stories and research by experts such as Dr. Helen Fisher support my answer. But—oops!—there is one snafu: You can also fall in love—and remain with—a partner who is not healthy for you. Usually, as Dr. Fisher and others have noted, falling in love at first sight is a mix of physical attraction, sexual desire, emotional attachment and mutual liking. … [Read more...]

How to Fix a Bad First Impression

If you’ve messed up the first date, you are not alone. Read these three true stories from my clients. “Alyssa” agreed to meet Allen in person after ten days of emails, text messages and phone calls. She was really looking forward to meeting someone who seemed good for her. The problem was that shortly before she met Allen for coffee Alyssa had a huge fight with her mother. Her mother frequently mentioned that Alyssa’s younger sister just … [Read more...]

No Men in Your Area? Tips for Finding and Connecting with Them!

When I was in grad school and lived in the grad school dorm, I became friends with “Sue” who lived down the hall.  She was finishing her master degree in public relations, and she landed a dream job–but it was in a rural area where she thought she’d never ever meet a man she would want to marry. I said to her:  “If the town has a company big enough to employ someone in your field, then there have to be doctors, lawyers, dentists, banks. … [Read more...]