When I was in grad school and lived in the grad school dorm, I became friends with “Sue” who lived down the hall. She was finishing her master degree in public relations, and she landed a dream job–but it was in a rural area where she thought she’d never ever meet a man she would want to marry.
I said to her: “If the town has a company big enough to employ someone in your field, then there have to be doctors, lawyers, dentists, banks. builders, insurance agents, teachers, administrators and more. And if you don’t like the men you meet in town, then here are ways to widen your circle to meet men.”
So, here are the tips that worked for her–and for other women who live in rural areas and whom I’ve counseled. Warning: These tips require you to feel uncomfortable. But get emotional brave and tell yourself: I have one life, and I deserve a happy one!
1. Call the local newspaper and/or television station/radio station and ask them to do an article or news spot about the difficulty of meet someone to date in rural areas. Ask them to interview you.
2. Contact the local churches and other places of worship and ask them if they would sponsor a singles event.
3. Go to local places where men tend to go in your area: Big box stores? Farm store? Also, find out about local events in your area from your local newspapers and radio and television news shows. Find a reason to go–and then obey this rule of slim dating pickings: You cannot leave the store or event until you have struck up a conversation with at least two men who interest you. (Look for wedding bands, first, though!)
Go up to the men and introduce yourself. If you are in a store, ask the man’s advice about whatever it is that you’re there to buy. If you are at an event, tell the man: ” Hi, my name is…and I’ve been told to walk up to men who seem smart and kind and so I sensed that you are that kind of person.” When I conducted singles groups, this tip worked every time!
4. Call every single person you know and invite them to a party at your house or some other place. Tell each guest that he or she has to bring along another single person, preferably of the opposite sex.
5. Start a singles mingle group. Create a flyer and advertise it in places of worship, grocery stores, pharmacies, feed stores, etc. Leave a contact phone number. Get each person’s email/phone. When you have a group of people, arrange to meet at a local restaurant.
Get bold and brave!
I hope this info helps.
Oh–and “Sue” did these things and met an attorney in church and married him!
