When I was doing research for my book about women, love, and dating for professionals one of the top questions that the women asked was: “How do I think with my head and heart?” The question stemmed from regrets about falling in love too soon and too blindly. In the cartoon below Cookie is on a second date with Joe. She hasn’t had a date in a very long time because she got so hurt that she avoided any possibility of making a mistake. Can you see why Cookie’s heart and head are battling it out?
Does the cartoon remind you of a wrongheaded love experience? Here are some tips about making sure your head and heart speak with the same message.
- Don’t let the excitement of the moment carry you away. High octane activities with another person arouse your brain’s neurons for thrills and stimulation. You can often end up feeling closer to the person than you really are.
- Evaluate your love situation. Are you lonely? Are you in the middle of a crisis such as health or financial issues? Are you getting older and feeling life is passing you by? Always be wary of what you are bringing to the date. Your emotional background noise could be leading you astray.
- Listen, observe, and slow down. Your head and heart should be sending you the same message. But even when they are the same, they can still fool you. Keep the two items above in your mind. When in doubt, slow down, and don’t put yourself in a compromising position such as going back to his or your place. Don’t get reckless. Protect your feelings. If he is a good match for you, there will always be another time.
Together we can learn from each other and heal. I’d love to hear about your experience. What lessons have you learned? Please share in the comments below.
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