Smart Cookie Tip:

 The Danger of Rebound Dating and Relationships

If you've been hurt or disappointed in love, you might swear off men and love for a while, take time to focus your life or learn about yourself.  These steps are smart ones--as long as you truly do face yourself, understand why you chose this man or put up with unacceptable behavior or hung in there too long.  And if you are really brave, you'll take a long look at your dating history and patterns, put yourself in a position to meet men and open your heart to life and love again.

     Usually, however, many women get caught in rebound dating and mating by OVER-CORRECTING their previous error.  For example, if your last unhappy relationship was with a bossy man, you might find yourself attracted to a mild man.  Mild men are fine as long as they don't rely on you too much, can make decisions and take action in life when necessary.

     Or, if you were previously with a man who lived for his work, you might be OVER-ATTRACTED to a man who lives to play.  Play is good--but balance is the key word.  You don't want to find yourself suddenly dropping your friends or work to run off every night or weekend.

     Take a long look at your dating patterns.  Ask a trusted friend to look with you.  See if you are caught in rebound/over-correct cycles.  If you are, your best strategy is to:

Make a list of what you've learned about yourself in love

Make a list of what you now know are your top needs

Don't avoid dating a similar man.  Not all strong, capable men, for example, are bossy and abusive.  But never tolerate abuse.

Date lots of different men.  Take your time.  Love involves head and heart, and it can't be rushed.  So, observe your man in all kinds of settings. 

Consider seeking professional help.

Good Luck!

Thank you.  LB