Important Answers to Your Valentine’s Day Dilemmas

Valentine’s Day is sneaking up on you. If you are like many people, you not only have mixed feelings about the holiday, but you also have some uncertainty about how—or whether—to celebrate it. Here are some tested tips and answers to the most common questions and dilemmas. 1. Why can’t I just ignore the holiday—and save my money? I don’t recommend putting on blinders and skipping the holiday. Ignoring it is like closing up your heart. You … [Read more...]

How to Keep From Going Back to a Previous Relationship for the Wrong Reasons

Well, you say to yourself, you were young when you met. Or, one of you was going through hard times. And now you are both more mature, and no one else either of you has dated even comes close to being a good match.   Oh, there are lots of reasons! For one, statistics are really against you. Okay—I know that reliable statistical information is actually a risk assessment based on a large, representative sample, and that the findings may not … [Read more...]

Scared of Falling In Love? 5 Effective Ways to “Road-Test” Your New Relationship

Oh, how wonderfully frightening that first fullness of falling in love! But like most balloons, after a while, the fear of being known and loved and accepted flattens our feelings a bit, and we now wonder how much of the air of love will seep out.   And even though we cannot predict everything our partner might do, we still want some way of lessening the odds that all the air of love disappears. Here are the top, effective actions that … [Read more...]

How to Stop Choosing a Very Wrong Partner & Choose Someone Only a Little Wrong

What? Am I saying that you should choose a wrong person for your love partner? No, of course not. But hang in there with me. I’ll be discussing how to avoid really choosing wrong, and choosing wisely and realistically instead. After I read author’s Alain de Botton’s May 29, 2016 article, “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person,” in the Wall St Journal, I thought about my research findings about love. He makes very important points. I will … [Read more...]

How to Keep From Being Blindsided in Your Love Life

Have you ever felt shocked that your intimate partner turned out to be really different from how he or she seemed in the beginning?  Or, after you’ve been in a love relationship for a while, have you minimized disturbing qualities in your partner in order to stay together to keep the peace—even if you are terribly unhappy? In my five years of research with thousands of couples—and in my many years of counseling even more—I’ve learned the top … [Read more...]